Hello there.
It's been a while. Quite a lot of things have happened. I won't go into all of it, because a lot of the past four years have been rough, and there are some things I don't necessarily want to relive.
Have you all heard about the weight loss/ Type II diabetes medication Ozempic? I tried it, and it was not for me. I won't go into why, but I will say that for those of you for whom it works, I salute you.
My pump got an upgrade at the beginning of 2024. It works a LOT better now, but the side effect of my diabetes being in better control is that my weight, unfortunately, is not. I am, in fact, pretty depressed about this. Of course I am a depression eater, so this vicious circle will likely be a reoccurring theme.
We lost another of our little fur babies this year. Little Miss Rosabel was almost 14, and was just in such a bad way. I miss that little snickerdoodle. I held on too long and I feel so guilty about it. She deserved better. In the end, though, I know she isn't suffering anymore, and I'm sure she had a fantastic reunion with Bandit and Shiva over the rainbow bridge.
Since last I posed I've gotten a second Master's degree, because one is apparently not enough and unlike most sane people I really enjoy school. If I could only find a job that was all about learning and researching and reading copious amounts of nonfiction...wouldn't that be the cat's pajamas?
So, why am I back pouring my heart out on the internet? Well, for one thing, I finished my degree so I have lots more time on my hands. Even getting more involved in library associations hasn't filled up the time I have spent the past four years working on my degree. And I miss writing. My literary creative juices are getting a little rusty just sitting there.
I think a better question is, why did I stop?
In addition to the whole working on another Master's degree, I was getting messaged by people I didn't want to reply to. Believe it or not, not all comments and messages on the internet are positive! I was also a little burned out, and scared of what was happening in the world- I still am, actually- and I think I needed a break. Plus, thinking about my stupid disease wasn't good for me at that time. I also stopped using Facebook, and Twitter (now X, in case you forgot), so getting the word out about new posts is basically down to if you're subscribed to this blog.
But all is not sad. I have taken up many creative endeavors. I started to collect alcohol markers, and I even sometimes use them. I sometimes sketch, and I really like drawing and coloring. I've even taken up watercolor, though I'm not ace at it.
Not too shabby with flowers.
I like painting and playing with color and watching YouTubers that are more talented than I am do things that I wish I could. I have tons of sketchbooks and supplies, and even occasionally use them. The only thing really holding me back is that I am tired.
Sorry, that should have read TIRED.
I don't know if it's a diet issue, a diabetes issue, or some other issue, but I am TIRED. I am so tired. I am even tired of looking at the word tired. Even in my journal, which is something that I have kept up on over the past few years, every single entry has some comment on how tired I am. I sleep poorly, I guess? And I spend a lot of my waking time trying to present as a relatively happy person, or at the least a person who doesn't consider hiding in her bed for a week rather than face getting up and going in to work every day. The whole "keeping up appearances" thing can drain your energy a lot.
Geez, it's been so long I don't even know how to conclude this. (Note to self, go back and reread the less traumatizing entries to see if you can get your groove back.)
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