I can almost hear the little bastards laughing at me.
But then I got to work and I had more choices than "use what the insurance will pay for even though it's kinda crap" and "go without." For behold! Medtronic has been calling me to upgrade me (for free) to their new and improved pump! I guess when I got this one in June they opted me in for a free upgrade once the new system was ready for go time. And it's go time.
I hesitate to be excited about this "new and improved" pump. For one thing, it's not FDA approved for use with pregnant women. I am not pregnant, but hearing that sort of thing makes me cock my head to the side like my dog and stare at the phone in confusion when the person on the other end of the call informs me of it. (Apparently the FDA requires extensive testing even if one little thing- such as a human being growing inside of you- is different than status quo, so it is likely that eventually it will be approved...I guess. I'm just going to defer to my husband, who has a lot of medical industry knowledge, and nod my head in pretend understanding.)
We have no idea what you're talking about.
Anyway, after a little research and waiting on hold for almost half an hour before talking to someone at Metronic, I decide, what the hell? It's free, it's new, and if the Medtronic website is to be believed, it's got some features that I do not currently have that I would like (#4) and some things about it seem to have been improved upon (#1-3):
1) the sensors are smaller (shorter and not as wide), which means I won't have to jab a giant, thick needle into my stomach every three days,
2) the sensors last up to six days instead of three, which is already an improvement even if the sensor itself wasn't smaller,
3) the new sensors are apparently 31% more accurate, which is a hallelujah moment right there,
4) with this higher accuracy level, it also comes with an automatic shut-off ("thresh suspend") in case I ignore a hypoglycemia (low blood sugar) alert...which I admit I do when it's the middle of the night and my pump is beeping at me. For it to shut off insulin delivery on its own and monitor when it should come back on is like...I don't know. Jesus like. Miraculous. Like it's a pancreas or something.
and 5) with the exception of the new and improved sensors it still uses all of the supplies I've got stored away.
So there are plenty of good reasons to take a chance on this new device. Hell, it looks exactly like the one I have now and the two I had before this one. It's not like you'll be able to tell by looking at me that I've got a new pump (though I am seriously considering going with blue instead of black this time. I don't know why. Maybe I just don't care if it matches my work clothing anymore.)
I'm thinkin' of somethin' blu-uuuuuue...
I've been burned in the past by this CGM stuff before, though. I admit the Dex meter did produce results, but it made me mental. And while I appreciate the price point of the Revel, I hate those sensors. I mean, I hate them. I hate them the way a Steeler fan hates the Browns or the Ravens, the way a Dodger fan hates the Giants, the way a Red Sox fan hates the Yankees and vice versa. We're taking epic sports rivalry hatred here, folks. Just looking at those sensors fills me with trepidation and revulsion...and this is after I figured out how to put the damn things in properly.
It's midnight-thirty as I write this so there will be no spell checking tonight, folks. I'll just schedule this to post in the morning and leave you with this thought...
Do we really need a sequel to Beetlejuice? Only if they bring back the cartoon...
Which came on right before these guys every Saturday morning...one of whom is wearing Beetlejuice inspired attire about 15 seconds in...
And they were on right before an hour of this:
Clearly I remember my Saturday mornings in 1990 very fondly.
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