Is it November yet?

Halloween is almost here.

It's my least favorite holiday.

Can you guess why?

My blood sugar is now 300 just looking at this.

 

Being a diabetic and having little bite sized portions of things that smell so good just sitting there at the check out counter, sitting there on the sign in desk at the doctor's office...filling the drawers in my office cabinet because it's Spooky Stories week at the library and the kids come in costume and trick or treat through every department...well, it's weeks of temptation and frankly, I fall off the wagon. Not even Easter, with the chocolate bunnies and Cadbury Crème Eggs, or Christmas, with the peppermint bark and candy canes, has quite the association with all things sweet and bad for you that Halloween does.

 

Even as a kid I always found it a little...I don't know, what's the word...unfair to send a person who isn't supposed to eat candy out into the night dressed as Barbie/G.I. Joe/whatever to beg for it. Don't get me wrong- dressing up is fun, and gallivanting off into the neighborhood after dark with your friends is, too, but what's to stop you from doing that at any time of year? When all was said and done my friends would be noshing on a pillowcase full of goodies, and even if I snuck one or two pieces at their houses when I got home my mom would confiscate it before my costume was even off- even those really uncomfortable plastic jobbies that they don't even sell anymore. You know what I'm talking about. The ones that had a plastic mask and a plastic smock telling you what the costume was just in case the person answering the door didn't have a TV or a kid?

 

For more epic badness go to http://www.comicsalliance.com/2011/10/26/bad-halloween-costumes/

 

Halloween really wasn't a big deal, to be honest. My friends never gave me trouble, my little sister (who often hung out with me and my friends since we're so close in age) never gave me trouble either. And even though Mom always intervened on my behalf when I got home, she doled it out one or two pieces at a time in my lunch box- sometimes through Christmas! (Stick the chocolate in the freezer and it will last as long as you can make it.) But the principle of the thing kind of rankles me now.

 

Candy aside, I'm still not a fan of Halloween. I don't like "scary" movies, and never have. I've never seen "The Shining" or "Scream" or any of the "Halloween" movies...I've never seen "Psycho" or "The Birds" either. I've seen "It" and let me tell you, that's more than enough scary for me. Scary just isn't my thing at all. And then there was that year the dog across the street scared me so much I didn't go out trick or treating for at least another four years. (I was terrified of dogs as a kid, and dogs are terrified of Halloween, so it really was a match made in Hell. Be kind to your dogs and lock them up before you open the door this year.)

 

So basically, the whole holiday could go away and I'd be okay with it....well, except for one thing.

 

What I believe Halloween was created for, and the holiday's sole reason for existing.

 

 

The long and winding road...

So, that medical procedure went okee-day. Except for the fact that I'm feeling kinda like I had a medical procedure, and I can't quite shake the alien feeling. Also, they pump you full of air to make room for their surgical instruments, I think, which makes for an uncomfortable couple of days.

Just sayin'.

 

The thing about medical anything and diabetes is that no matter what people tell me about how long it takes to recover, I always end up taking longer to heal than I expect- even when I'm in really great shape diabetes-wise, which, I must admit, I have not been this past month. Between being sick for a while with a lingering head cold and then this surgery thing, diet and exercise have not had a place in my home. Needless to say, both my glucometer and the scale have been showing me higher numbers than I would like.

 

 

 

Here's the weird, totally not expected thing about this...I miss exercising. I miss eating right. I must be missing a few screws, too, because this isn't me. I'm all about noshing on deep fried stuff and sitting on my butt and playing video games or watching "The Princess Bride" for the one thousand one hundred and thirty eighth time. I'm lazy. I'm so lazy I have a theme song written by Irving Berlin and sung by none other than Bing Crosby, because yes I am that cool.

 

It's called "Lazy," ironically enough.

 

But here I am, actually kind of craving exercise and vegetables. I'm guessing this a good thing...it's odd, but I think somewhere along the line I may have made a life change. I'm planning on really getting going on Sunday when I have the all clear to exercise again, and hopefully by the end of December I'll be down five pounds or so and back on track with those blood sugars.

 

The only problem I really foresee is having to come up with a new theme song...

 



Yeah. That'll work.



< insert snark here >

Not feeling my snarkiest today, which is bad, because I love my snark. It's kewl.

There's a reason I'm not feeling very snarky today. One, my blood sugar is kinda high right now, which always puts me in a foul mood. The other is I'm having a medical procedure done on Friday that requires anesthetic, and I'm not exactly looking forward to this. In fact, I'd have to say I'm the polar opposite of looking forward to this.

I won't get into details, but it's a routine thing that literally half of everyone I've talked about it to have either had it done or know someone who has. That doesn't make it any less nerve wracking. I don't like being put under for anything. When I had my wisdom teeth pulled a few years ago I woke up in the middle of the procedure and let me tell you, that's not a good experience. Kind of like in Awake....only not like that at all, actually, and with a lot less Hayden Christensen.

It took less time to become Darth Vader.

 

My real problem with this is that I can't eat anything (I can't even drink water) for at least eight hours before my procedure, which is scheduled for early afternoon. In case you're new here, I'm a diabetic. Not eating all morning is not usually recommended. I've already had to reschedule this once for work related reasons...I don't really want to have to put it off again because I needed to keep my blood sugar from crashing (though with the high blood sugar trend I've had going, that is probably the least of my worries at this point.)

 

It doesn't help that my allergies are really kicking up, too, which makes me cranky. There's a list of medications a page long that I am not supposed to take for at least a week before this surgery, and rather than read it because it's long and the same medication can be called three different things, I've just cut myself off of all meds other than insulin. No pain meds, no allergy meds, and I've even run out of vitamins, though I gotta say I'm a little glad not to be swallowing those horse pills anymore.

 

'Nuff said.

 





Anyway, if you would be nice enough to send some good juju out into my general direction Friday, that would be nice of you. And if you can't send good juju, at least send pizza 'cause this girl is gonna be HUNGRY when all is said and done.

The demons that keep me up at night

I had a really bad blood sugar day Thursday. I mean, it was BAD.

Sorry...I'm not much of a photographer.

 

This is my Dex meter. It's the continuous blood glucose testing system that I've got. The bottom, solid line means I'm LOW, really LOW, like below 40 low. The dotted line a little above it means my blood sugar is 80. The dotted line above that means 160. The top of the screen there is 400. I like to keep my blood sugar in between the dotted lines. This was a 12 hour view of my blood sugars. So from midnight the night before through noon on Thursday, I pretty much felt like crap.

 

Today has been much better, but after napping on the couch this afternoon with the AC cranked a little too high my throat is really sore and my head feels really stuffy. I was over whatever cold symptoms I had last month this weekend because there was no way I could have done this if I'd been sick:

 

Band was AWESOME. Venue was NOT.

 

Thursday was one of those days where I needed to keep reminding myself that being perfect isn't going to happen (or, rather, my husband needed to remind me). The frustrating thing is that a day like that usually takes a few days to get over blood sugar wise, but I carry the self loathing and failure longer. So basically, same stuff, different day.

 

Today I've been better about keeping track of my calories and I think this week I'll be getting back on the exercise bandwagon, but after this last month of sick and #fail I know my next doctor appointment isn't going to be as nice as the last, which irritates me. It also inspires me to make sure the next three weeks are better than the last three, so I can at least counteract things a little bit.

 

On blink-182's most recent album (Neighborhoods, it's awesome, go get it) there's a song called "Up All Night." The chorus goes like this-

 

Let me get this straight,

Do you want me here?

As I struggle through

Each and every year.

And all these demons,

They keep me up all night.

 

I know what demons keep me up all night.