For those of you following along at home, I gave up on using the Medtronic Revel continuous glucose testing because it was, in a word, antisupercalifragilisticexpialidoscious. This was no spoonful of sugar we're talking about. It was definitely the rain on the chalk pavement pictures.
Today I started using the NEW and IMPROVED Medtronic Elite model of CGM, and so far I am thinking pretty highly of it. For example, the length of the sensor itself is dramatically improved.
This is the Soft Sensor that was used with the Revel. The needle there (it's encased in a plastic protector) is just about as long as a dime is wide, and it's the largest gauge needle I've ever seen. I think you can give an elephant a tranquilizer with this needle. It went in at a strange angle, as you can kind of tell (the plastic part just above the needle was supposed to be flush with my skin. I say supposed to because it was really a crap shoot over whether that would happen or not.) Also, because it went IN at an angle, you had to pull the needle OUT at the same angle or it just stayed stuck, which was always good for a panic attack.
This is the Elite Sensor. Much shorter, and it goes straight in at a 90 degree angle which makes taking it OUT really easy. Also, I can leave it in for 6 days as opposed to 3. Already we're making a better impression. I'm sure it has quirks I will have to get used to, but the relationship is young and its still trying to impress me. I knew after only a couple months that things with the Soft Sensor weren't going to work out, but I can see the Elite and I making a long commitment to one another.
Perhaps it's just because I'm already listening to Christmas music and for some strange reason my XM/Sirius radio weirdly started working again even though the trial subscription ran out last week, but I'm feeling pretty optimistic about the new gear. I know I was fairly optimistic about the other Medtronic CGM, but the trainer I was working with today had little nice to say about the Soft Sensor and lots nice to say about the Elite, so I'm hopeful that they have done some serious improving.
So, recently I started nosing in around my Google+ profile because more of my friends are using it. I have to say I have the same issues with it that I do with Facebook- they take my information and make it available to anyone they want to without consideration of my feelings. Personally, I miss letter writing, because then you could stay in touch with people you were friends with and not have your entire conversation plastered all over a social media webpage that automatically shares all of your private information with search engines and complete strangers. I know there are ways to set your profiles to "private" but that shouldn't be something you can DO, it should be something that happens AUTO-FREAKING-MATICALLY, and only if you WANT to share things should you have to go in and make changes to the defaults that some jerk programmer in Silicon Valley thought would be acceptable to everyone.
I know this isn't necessarily about diabetes, but here's the thing: if I want to share this blog with people (which I do, even complete strangers, because I think it might be helpful to people) via Google+, I HAVE to link it to my personal account, which means people I don't freaking know now have access to "learning more about me than I may be willing to share." Because of this, you will learn almost nothing about me from my Google+ profile, even if you're my husband, because I have almost every single solitary thing that I can set to "Only Me" set to "Only Me." And that makes social media basically a giant steaming pile of waste of time.
I spend more time changing the defaults than I do actually posting stuff.
What I share on this blog I share because I want to, not because the privacy deficient morons at Facebook changed the privacy settings yet again so that things we thought we were posting in private are now searchable by Yahoo. And yes, I know that this blog makes me sound like a ranting lunatic who wears aluminum foil hats to keep the government out of her head (I don't, mostly because they could get around that if they wanted to), but the fact of the matter is, people, that what you put on the Internet, even in private, is FOREVER. Those Tweets you deleted? Yeah, anyone who gets your tweets sent to their phone still has them. The Library of Congress has been collecting Tweets for years. Some server somewhere has a cached memory which your tweet still resides on, and is still searchable by any search engine. Armageddon will happen, cities will be leveled, the human race will be destroyed, and you know what? Those Tweets you deleted will still be there, and the cockroaches will be reading them while they eat Twinkies under the radioactive sky.
Now back and more resilient than ever.
Where am I going with this? It's kind of a rant, and I think I lost the point... oh yeah.
So now my blog is connected to my Google+ account, because frankly Google dominates everything and eventually we'll be calling them our lords and masters anyway. Why do I use them, then, you ask? Because I'm the only one who misses letter writing, and I see the positives in what social media can offer us, if used responsibly. I will say that at least Google makes it fairly simple to opt out of sharing things you don't want to share, whereas Facebook is run by the NSA or something considering how little they care for user privacy.
Shit, did I just get political? I'll shut up now.
Long story short, if you go to tag me in a picture or add me to an event or say we work together/went to school together on any social media, do not be surprised if I UNtag myself, say I'm not going even though I am, and refuse every single request to acknowledge that I do what I do for a living where I do it or that I matriculated from any one institution. Also, don't trust that birthday app that tells you when my birthday is, because 1) I don't allow them access to my profile and 2) Facebook doesn't know when my birthday is. Yes, I am the crazy lady. But when you've been pricking your fingers for over thirty years, you have tasted insulin as your blood stream shoots it past your taste buds because you injected it in the oh-so-wrong place, and you have spent more hours than you can count worrying about your physical health like I have, you're entitled to the crazy. At least a little.
Or in the case of Freddie Mercury, as crazy as you want.
It's National Novel Writing Month, and I've been working on my diabetes novel. I wish I could say it's going well, but it's going slow, and that's not really the same thing. Having my lap top crap out on me didn't help...and neither did the fact that I logged into Star Wars: The Old Republic today and started to play that again. And "Thor 2" came out, so we'll likely go see that tomorrow...
I may never get this novel done.
It's not that I don't want to get this written. I do. It's just I know that once it's written no one's gonna read it. The idea for it started last year when I did a blog for the YALSA Hub and the idea has been germinating in the back of my head. I figured it would be a good thing to write a book for teens with a diabetic main character...one that wasn't too preachy, or had the sole focus of the book be diabetes. Should be easy-peasy for me...right?
Didn't happen last year.
Is coming along a little slower than I'd like this year.
My method of writing isn't the NaNoWriMo method. 50K words in a month? No time for editing, no time for finesse...just push out the words and let them fall where they may. Oh my lord it's the scariest thing ever. I'm totally stressin'.
So, here's a video of Tom Hiddleston showing why Loki is better than Thor. I need to get back to writing.
You know what's really interesting? When you make a choice and then before you get to act on it another option is presented to you to choose from which completely changes the direction you're going in. For example, today I decided I was DONE with CGM. I can't go back to using the Dexcom because I don't have thousands of dollars lying around looking for something to be spent on and I can't stand the thought of having to stick myself with the (insert several expletives here) sensors my insurance will cover. I've been sensor free all day, and for the most part my blood sugar has been relatively good. (Not great, but good.) I've also done more finger sticks today than I have in a long, long time.
I can almost hear the little bastards laughing at me.
But then I got to work and I had more choices than "use what the insurance will pay for even though it's kinda crap" and "go without." For behold! Medtronic has been calling me to upgrade me (for free) to their new and improved pump! I guess when I got this one in June they opted me in for a free upgrade once the new system was ready for go time. And it's go time.
I hesitate to be excited about this "new and improved" pump. For one thing, it's not FDA approved for use with pregnant women. I am not pregnant, but hearing that sort of thing makes me cock my head to the side like my dog and stare at the phone in confusion when the person on the other end of the call informs me of it. (Apparently the FDA requires extensive testing even if one little thing- such as a human being growing inside of you- is different than status quo, so it is likely that eventually it will be approved...I guess. I'm just going to defer to my husband, who has a lot of medical industry knowledge, and nod my head in pretend understanding.)
We have no idea what you're talking about.
Anyway, after a little research and waiting on hold for almost half an hour before talking to someone at Metronic, I decide, what the hell? It's free, it's new, and if the Medtronic website is to be believed, it's got some features that I do not currently have that I would like (#4) and some things about it seem to have been improved upon (#1-3):
1) the sensors are smaller (shorter and not as wide), which means I won't have to jab a giant, thick needle into my stomach every three days,
2) the sensors last up to six days instead of three, which is already an improvement even if the sensor itself wasn't smaller,
3) the new sensors are apparently 31% more accurate, which is a hallelujah moment right there,
4) with this higher accuracy level, it also comes with an automatic shut-off ("thresh suspend") in case I ignore a hypoglycemia (low blood sugar) alert...which I admit I do when it's the middle of the night and my pump is beeping at me. For it to shut off insulin delivery on its own and monitor when it should come back on is like...I don't know. Jesus like. Miraculous. Like it's a pancreas or something.
and 5) with the exception of the new and improved sensors it still uses all of the supplies I've got stored away.
So there are plenty of good reasons to take a chance on this new device. Hell, it looks exactly like the one I have now and the two I had before this one. It's not like you'll be able to tell by looking at me that I've got a new pump (though I am seriously considering going with blue instead of black this time. I don't know why. Maybe I just don't care if it matches my work clothing anymore.)
I'm thinkin' of somethin' blu-uuuuuue...
I've been burned in the past by this CGM stuff before, though. I admit the Dex meter did produce results, but it made me mental. And while I appreciate the price point of the Revel, I hate those sensors. I mean, I hate them. I hate them the way a Steeler fan hates the Browns or the Ravens, the way a Dodger fan hates the Giants, the way a Red Sox fan hates the Yankees and vice versa. We're taking epic sports rivalry hatred here, folks. Just looking at those sensors fills me with trepidation and revulsion...and this is after I figured out how to put the damn things in properly.
It's midnight-thirty as I write this so there will be no spell checking tonight, folks. I'll just schedule this to post in the morning and leave you with this thought...
I've been a little depressed lately, I will admit. A look at my last few blog posts is evidence enough of that. And when I get depressed I tend to focus on the negative more than usual (which is saying something). But for once I have good news...and some embarrassing news.
First, the good. We got an email at work yesterday that said my endocrinologist was going to be covered as an in-network doctor even though Aetna itself isn't covering him (yet). Yay!
Happy Dance!
This is such a relief to me that I can't adequately put it into words....well, maybe one.
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. (Which, I am pleased to see, my spellcheck tells me I spelled correctly on the first try.)
And now the embarrassing thing. I've been complaining about how miserable it is to put the new CGM sensor in for weeks. It often doesn't go all the way in and I have to stick myself more than once, twice, three times...My last blog post, I think, really went off on the device. I have since inserted two sensors without any problems whatsoever. Why? Because I realized I was doing it wrong. If you put the sensor into the inserter correctly it works really well. At some point I got cocky and forgot to be careful with what I was doing.
When the fail is so strong, one Facepalm is not enough indeed.
Which just goes to prove that even after having diabetes for decades I can still learn a thing or two about taking care of it. Namely, don't cut corners you idiot.
I'm still not out of the depression woods yet, but I've been feeling a lot more up than down the past week or so, and I'm not really sure why that is but I'm not about to over-analyze it. There are still big things that will set me off and make me cry, but I'm better able to handle the little things. I think it's because I vented and a lot of people reached out to me, which made me feel less lonely than I have been. Also, I've been trying to laugh more.
"Laughter is the best medicine; you can't OD and the refills are free." So says Rob Paulsen, who has been entertaining you and your kids for quite a few years with his voice (seriously, his IMDb page is a mile long. He's Yakko on Animaniacs, Pinky on Pinky and the Brain, Carl on Jimmy Neutron, has been two Ninja Turtles...the man's incredible). "Everything you can imagine is real." That one's attributed to Pablo Picasso. "You cannot reason with the heart; it thumps about things which the intellect scorns." Mark Twain, A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court. I've actually been researching "motivation" for a presentation I'm giving on Saturday (no, I didn't pick the topic), and I've been relying heavily on quotes to fill time. Twain didn't make it in because I can't figure out how to relate it to motivation, but Pablo and Rob did, among others.
I actually have a list of quotes by my desk, along with various other things that make me smile- pictures of my family, lots of Obi-Wan Kenobis, a giant map of Disneyland and a less giant map of Boston I picked up on my lone visit there. Honestly, I should never be depressed in my office. It's way too cool in there.
Don't you wish your office was cool like me?
I think the only thing that isn't obvious about me just from looking at my office is that I'm a diabetic, which is fine with me, since no one wants to be defined by their disability. I'd much rather be defined by the fact that I have a life-sized, working Muppet taking dictation for me or a blaster wielding space pirate guarding my filing cabinet. Or the fact that I still have a lot to learn when it comes to taking care of my diabetes. :)
I guess my lesson for the last couple months is that you take the good, you take the bad, you take them both...and then you have George Clooney before ER made him ridiculously famous.
Incidentally, Mindy Cohn is also an amazing voice actor these days. :)
The CGM Saga continues. When we last met, our heroine was trying to objectively compare the two continuous glucose monitors at her disposal...
Today she wishes she'd never heard of either of them.
I went through three sensors and five needle pokes today to get one of those damn things inserted. It brought me to tears.- not because it hurt but because it was so frustrating. The hurt comes later. Have I shown you what happened last time it took me more than one merciful needle sticking to get one of these things working?
My tummy, ladies and gentlemen. I've seen UFC fighters in better shape.
Even if I had the body for it, I would never wear a bikini, that's for sure. The bruising and tissue damage is unreal considering I've been poking myself with a needle to insert my pump settings for eight years with no freaking problems. Same company, completely different technology.
Now, as my husband sweetly pointed out while he was consoling me this morning, CGM is kinda new. I'm on the cutting edge here, and they haven't worked out the issues that are sure to arise when technology is new. I mean, when cell phones were new there wasn't great coverage, calls were dropped all the time, and it was easy to break a phone if you dropped it- but that was over twenty years ago. Things are much improved today.
So what you're saying is I'm screwed.
I can't very well wait for the technology to get better, so I have to make do with what I've got to work with, but I am not sure how much longer I can emotionally take this. Since the new insurance kicked in we're thinking maybe now they'll cover the Dex company, though so far the only differences I've found in the coverage are that more things are not covered. Still, it can't hurt to call and find out, right? Maybe they'll not only cover it, but they'll cover the new Dex meter, which has a color screen. Ooooh. It's also smaller...which means I'd just lose it more but as long as it takes less sharp jabs to my tummy, I'll manage. We'll see how that goes. I've already dealt with one incredibly frustrating thing this morning, so maybe calling the insurance company should wait until later.
In the meantime, I will do my best to keep it together. My husband making amusing puns as he installs the new toilet helps ("I knew this project was going to tank" is my current favorite). And of course, I've got music. New Kids on the Block, Maroon 5, Bing and Frank....songs from my favorite musicals. Oh, and of course there's the classics.
Arrrr, me mateys. 'Tis International Talk Like a Pirate day, and also me little mutt Rosabel's birthday. Truth be told, a mutt she is not, but a purebred Cairn terror, who sets herself upon the ankles of the unsuspecting and trips those usually sure of foot.
She be a well read pup, too, though a wee bit more scraggy bearded these days.
(Also, the book she be readin' be available from Amazon.com, if'n ye be interested.)
Okay, I could go on but I won't (at least with the shameless self promotion.)
I've been using the Medtronic/ Minimed Paradigm Revel (aka, my tricked out insulin pump with CGM) for about three months now, and I think that I have given it a long enough run to be able to adequately, and even objectively, compare it to the Dexcom CGM that it replaced....yeah, they both kind of have issues.
Let's back up to this morning. I have been on the verge of a breakdown for a couple weeks now. First my car goes engine up, then the insurance is changed on us in a very bold and seemingly underhanded way, then my husband's truck pulls the same engine trick my car did, and then our toilet cracks like it was made out of very cheap porcelain. Add this to the various odds and ends that have been piling up, and I was due. So this morning when I was changing my sensor and started to bleed I had a total meltdown.
Who's crazy now?
I know what you're thinking. "You have been sticking yourself with needles for decades. You check your blood sugar at least two or three times a day. You have two doohickeys in your abdomen at all times. What's a little blood? A little blood is nothing!" And you're right, but I'm not talking about a little blood. I was gushing. Maybe I haven't mentioned this, but I freak out at the sight of more than a little drop of blood and we are not taking about a little drop here. Anyway, I started to cry, which freaked out my husband, and then I said, "I never thought I'd say this, but I miss my Dex meter," which may have freaked him out even more because I really hated that thing.
However, it's been a couple months since I switched devices, and I think it's a good time to lay out the pros and cons of each one, even though I don't think that either has shown an overall clear superiority.
Let's start with the Dex. As a refresher, here's what it looks like:
Not one of my better days, this.
Pros (and yes there are some): 1) it was overall more accurate, 2) the software was easy to use and understand, which made making adjustments to my insulin settings easy, 3) one sensor lasted for 7-10 days, and 4) I never had problems inserting the sensor.
Cons: 1) I lost it all the damn time because it just clipped onto a pocket (or fell out of them more often than not), 2) Dexcom's customer service left much to be desired (I think taking $1600 out of someone's checking account without contacting them first and then taking three weeks to put it back counts as some of the worst customer service ever, and I've had waitresses spill beer on me.), 3) My insurance didn't cover the sensors, hence the $1600 co-pay they didn't clear with me first, 4) the sensors were kinda big and 5) each sensor came with its own plastic inserter, so I was throwing out a lot of medical waste.
And now let's look at the Revel:
Imagine a little sensor icon next to the clock, and this is it.
Pros: 1) It's one device instead of two, so I don't lose it, 2) It's covered by my insurance, 3.) If I need to make an out-of-the-ordinary $5 co-pay Medtronic calls my house and my cell phone, leaves me a message, and doesn't ship until I call back and confirm it is okay. In other words, they have excellent customer service, 4) Because it's all in one, the CGM actually works with my pump which makes it faster and easier to take care of highs and lows, and 5) Each sensor can be inserted using a reusable device, so there's less waste.
Cons: 1)I have no idea how the software works because it doesn't work with Windows 8, and that's what I've got on my laptop, 2) each sensor only lasts 3-4 days, so I'm sticking myself more often, 3) I sometimes have to stick myself 2-3 times and use more than one sensor to actually get one working, which means I'm sticking myself way more often and 4) It's not as accurate as the Dexcom. And 5) it beeps ALL THE BLEEPING TIME...but I set it to do that, so it's not really a con.
When it comes to my health I know I should be looking more at how these devices affect my health. And I think, honestly, I was in better health with the Dexcom. However, the bottom line is actually the bottom line, and there's no way that I, or anyone I know, can afford a $1600 co-payment for sensors every three months. And as irritating as the constant sensor replacement is, it was far more frustrating to lose a device that cost four thousand dollars because it wouldn't stay in my pocket a couple times a week
To be blunt, the Medtronic Revel is better than nothing, and overall less irritating than the Dexcom, but if I could afford to use the Dexcom, I probably still would. I guess.
So there ye have it, me hearties. No true consensus to be found amongst the crew, and we're still floatin' upon the Seas at Her whim, with nawt e'en a breeze to lead us to our fates. It's as if we be cursed to sail on to the horizon without a map and compass...
