Beware the Ides of everything

SO...yeah. I've not been happy the last couple weeks. My car having engine problems to the tune of $6700 dollars ended up in me getting a new car, our insurance changes are likely leading to more money out of my pocket (or a new Doctor, which would be a complete other thing I don't want to deal with since I just got used to the current one) and the diet we were trying ended up not doing what we were hoping for, though we are eating better and it is costing us less than our prior noshing habits. Okay, fine. Trials in life and all that. I get it. We dealt with it. We took life's lemons and sucked on them and now we're fine. It happens.

But the truck now having engine trouble that is likely either going to cost us $7K or force us to get another new or new-to-us vehicle is ridiculous.

I'm not seeing it.

 

To say that life is stressing me out right now would be an understatement, and that of course means I will be feeling the repercussions in my blood sugar. Everyone keeps telling me to "take care of myself" but honestly, if I could lessen my stress don't you all think I'd have done that by now? I don't exactly like staring at my budget spreadsheet on Sunday morning but sometimes you need to do that (unless you're rich and pay someone to do that. So much the better for you.)

 

So life may be "abounding" in comedy, but right now, with the exception of my husband making some particularly goofy jokes this afternoon, I'm not laughing.

 

Oh, I see. Thanks for clarifying, Mel.

 

Tragedy + Time = Comedy, apparently, and right now I feel like I'm in the middle of tragedy, so I can only assume in a couple months I'll look back on this and laugh. Money is one of those things that no one ever has enough of and I am no exception. Even if I had more I'd still want more on top of that. I want to pay off my debt (who wants to spend the rest of their life paying off cars and houses?), but I can't do that if I keep accumulating it.

 

I spend all this time planning things out- we'll eat this food, I'll lose this weight, we'll pay this off, I'll read this book, whatever- and life never goes according to my plans. I know I'm not bad at making plans. I do it for work and often that comes out okay. I've planned trips, I've planned afternoon excursions, I've even planned massively big events that have gone off splendidly. But I try to plan my financial future or health...um, healthful...health...plans? Anyway, I try to plan either of those two things, and I get a giant cosmic "Oh no you di'in't!" from the Universe.

 

Sure, now he tells me.

 

And to say that I'm okay with this would be a bold faced lie.  If I had all the money in the world, if I had all the time and energy and every resource at my disposal, I still would not be able to control and plan for some things, and frankly, I take issue with that. This is why I like to write. I control everything when I write. A character stubs his toe? All me. A character wins the lottery, buys an island in the Caribbean and spends weeks at a time there with her friends celebrating boy band music? Totally doable. Wings bust out of my back and I can fly from here to NYC to see a Broadway show and still be home in time to catch the morning news? Hell yes. And if a character in a story I am writing comes up with a great way of paying off her house, her car, her credit card and her student loan it's gonna freakin' happen for her.

 

Actually, now that I think about it.... if I had all the time and energy and every resource at my disposal...I'd be a Time Lord. And I'd be okay with that.

 



 

 

Oh, fine. If you don't get it watch this, and if you do you likely are still chuckling over the Whovian reference at the beginning of this rant. Sing along!:

 

 

And as an aside...happy diabetes anniversary to me.