Where's the Doctor?

I don't know if it was a conscious decision or not, but most of my doctors all have offices along the same street. In my head I've started to call this street Doctor Row. And this month I'll have spent way more time on Doctor Row than I want to. It's not that I'm sick- well, not any sicker than usual. I'm trying to take better care of myself...and it seems whenever I do that all hell breaks loose.

Nothing a sonic screwdriver won't fix...

 

I went to see the optometrist first, because I was overdue for my yearly check up. Now I have a prescription that is not much different from the one I am currently using but didn't want to shell out $150 for new sunglass frames. My insurance helps to pay for new lenses every year but new frames every other  year...not sure how that works, exactly, but since I can't very well be without my glasses long enough for them to send them out to have the lenses put in and sent back I guess I...alternate between sunglasses and regular ones? I don't know.

 

 

He's already TARDIS blue!

 

After that came a totally unplanned trip to the podiatrist, where I learned that wearing cheap shoes for most of my life has resulted in plantar fasciitis, a nice doctory way of saying "Damn, it hurts to walk." Basically it's inflammation of the thick tissue (the plantar fascia) on the bottom of your foot. It's what connects your toes to your heel and helps form your arch. I'm only allowed to swim and bicycle for exercise until it heals. No Walking/Running/Jogging. Well, No Pool, and Not Able To Swim Anyway because of Dex Sensor Permanently Attached to My Stomach. And also No Bike. And NO GYM MEMBERSHIP because that's just throwing money away if you're me. I never thought I'd miss exercising until I was medically instructed not to do it.

 

Truth.

 

This morning I am going to get blood work done for my appointment with my endocrinologist next week. I had to hit up a quick- care this weekend already for another infection that needed antibiotics, so by the time February is over I'll have been to the doctor (including the follow up next week with my podiatrist) six times.

 

Ugh. At this rate I'll need a time machine in order to make it to all these appointments. Somebody get me in touch with The Doctor...

 

 



CAUTION: May Be Habit Forming

I just did a thirty minute cross training routine. My legs feel like Jell-O. I am sweaty and the dogs keep trying to lick the salty from my face. I am parched and have already downed 16 ounces of nice cold h2o. I feel a little gross and am in desperate need of a shower...

But I could get used to this. It's a good feeling.

I've been done now for about five minutes or so and my breathing has returned to normal so I'm actually in pretty good shape as it is. I want to be better, though. I want to be toned. I want to be healthy. And I want to be taking less figgin' insulin.

$70 bucks a bottle, retail.

 

I've noticed that when I exercise more and eat less I use less insulin. (I know, it's a wonder I haven't won the Nobel Prize for smarts.) I have plenty of reasons to bust my butt and get in better shape, but  when I get around to exercising I still feel like it's an even worthy of a blog. It shouldn't be. It should be status quo. It should be a blog worthy event when I don't exercise.

 

I've been tossing around the idea of getting a gym membership and getting a personal trainer. Maybe having someone nag me and tell me what I'm doing wrong (and right) would help. The weather is getting nicer...I could try to take up running again. I don't know why I want  to exercise but never seem to be motivated enough to actually do it.

 

Okay...that just doesn't look right at all.



Beeeee Positive

It's the day before my conference trip to the Pacific Northwest. I am both excited about it, and dreading it. How I can be both things equally has me a little perplexed...kind of like when I try to fix my computer without asking for my husband's help first.

Got this off of Guudmorning's Flickr stream and kind of wonder if I'm being spied on because I've made this face before...

Anyway, I am excited because I get to see friends I have not seen in a while (yay!), and because I've not ever been to Seattle and I like to visit new places. I am also excited because going to conferences always rejuvenates me and re-inspires me in my career, which is something that I need to do every now and then otherwise I get in a rut and then feel like I'm not contributing to society the way I should be. And while I am not looking forward to spending time away from the husband he gets some guilt free WOW time and I don't have to fight for space on the bed for a couple nights.

But dear Lord I can't stand to fly. The whole concept scares me. You're up in the air, no net, no wires, in a thing that weighs a lot and looks nothing at all like it should be able to get off the ground even a little without one of those giant ass cranes they use to build skyscrapers.

Does this really look like something that belongs UP in the AIR?

Even if I can get past my fear of  110 year old technology I still have other issues I need to contend with. I usually sleep on planes, but the take off and landing parts always make me ill, especially flying into places that have too much wind (I'm talking about you, Vegas) and most especially if I'm already having tummy issues, which are going to be there if I am stressed out. Which I am. Also, there is dealing with getting through airport security, which I may have mentioned before is always a hassle because for some reason I am the only person in the world with an insulin pump and a continuous blood glucose testing monitor... I'll save that rant for some other time.

I really need to start packing. First thing that goes into the suitcase? Diabetes supplies. Unless, of course, I am going to just do carry-on, in which case they are the last thing that goes in because chances are I will have to take them out and show them to someone. Some might say that I should always keep my supplies with me even if I do check my luggage because then when the airline loses everything I will at least have the important things.  And I might be inclined to agree with that now that I've really thought about it.

Carry on it is.

 

I resolve to do nothing

Happy New Year!

This year I will not resolve to do a damn thing because a few years ago I made a resolution to stop making those things, and for once it stuck.

I have decided this year to exercise more and eat better, which I decide to do every year. But if I fall off the wagon, and get back on, so be it. It's not a crime to screw up. If it were a crime we'd all have rap sheets ten miles long. To err is human, after all.

Also, my blood sugar is low as I write this, so let's see where it goes. (Before anyone gets all bent outta shape, yes, I am taking care of it. It takes time for it to come up, though, so why not see where this goes?)

I am trying to be better bout eating right and not worry so much about calories, mostly because I think the exercise will do more than eating nothing but carrot sticks and half size portions. As long as I am not eating fast food and binging on family size bags of chips I should be okay. I'm also trying to do exercise that I can do anywhere since there is going to be a lot of travel in my future if the hubs, work, and New Kids on the Block all align the way I want them to.

Travel for any reason always messes me up. I hate flying, so in the days leading up to a flight I get nervous. I don't sleep well anyplace other than my bed. I can't always eat right when I'm at a conference because I'm rushing around trying to get to meetings and what have you. And don't get me started on time zones.

A 9 am meeting in Boston is great when your body doesn't think it's only 6.

 



Travel is also a pain when you have two medical devices, various lengths of sharp pointy needles, and other medical sundries to concern yourself with. I may be gone three days, but I need to take six days worth of supplies with me because most of this stuff I can't just hit up the local drugstore for. If you forget your tooth brush, well, most hotels can accommodate you. I forget my pump supplies? Very bad things.

I'll be heading to the Pacific NW for a conference in a couple weeks, and already I am stressing about packing and getting through airport security and making sure I have enough stuff with me in case of emergency...Imagine how stressed I'll be the night before my flight. I'll let Phillip J. Fry demonstrate.

Exactly. Thanks Fry.

I let myself get stressed, I know, but honestly, who doesn't stress out when there is travel involved? It's fun, and can be very rewarding, but there is always a part of me that just wants to say, "Let's stay home, okay?"

Ah, the holidays

I’ve sadly been neglecting my blog, but it has not been because I’ve been getting ready for Christmas and New Year’s. No, I’ve not even scratched the surface of what I need to accomplish in the next ten days and several odd hours. Wait until the last minute and then rush like mad to get everything done is more my style.

The real reason I’ve been not blogging is two-fold. One, I don’t really have much diabetes related to talk about and I’d like to stay on topic as much as possible, and two, I kinda forgot I was doing this until I had to turn a blog in for another site. Oopsie. Also, I’ve been busy trying to track down the entire Star Wars Holiday Special on You Tube. Okay, not really. It’s easy to find. If you dare.

 

It's not only the video quality that's bad, apparently it's the link, too.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FQt7LRTSVTA

 

I would like to point out that even though the time between Thanksgiving and the end of the year is my favorite, it’s not always easy to deal with as a diabetic. There’s a lot more temptation regarding food, a lot less motivation to get up and exercise (being sick this last week hasn’t helped, either), and I’ve just got this overall sense of malaise toward taking care of myself. It’s the end of the year, right? I can be more resolved to take care of myself next year.

Yeah.

 

I am trying though, to be better about what I eat.  The exercise thing is hard because the hubs is sick, too, and it helps to have a work out buddy. Plus we’ve been playing The Old Republic online, and that’s a lot more fun than getting sweaty by walking in place for twenty minutes. My blood sugars and the stupid bathroom scale should be enough to motivate me to exercise, but apparently they aren’t. I’ve gotten to the point now where I’d rather skip a meal than get off my arse and move around, not that this helps get my flabby tummy in any kind of shape other than round.  
 

Last month at the last minute (see paragraph one) I started a NaNoWriMo book. I believe I mentioned this, but for anyone not in the know,that’s National Novel Writing Month, and the idea is you write a whole novel of 50,000 words between November 1 and November 30. I started it on a girl with diabetes because there aren’t too many young adult novels dealing with the disease, and frankly that pisses me off.  I got about 7,488 words done in four days and haven’t touched it since. It seems that I can start a lot of things but when it comes to finishing them I’m not good at crossing the line. At any rate, I started another book (I think this brings my current total of unfinished tomes to 12 or something…), so that’s something. Perhaps I could just post it here in installments and then you all could share it with people if you wanted to. Hmm. There’s a thought
 

In case I put off blogging again until 2013, or in case there is no 2013, I hope everyone has a safe and happy holiday season!

 

Ramblings

There are two or three things I've come to know about life.

1. My dogs will bark at the most inopportune moments and shatter my ear drums when all I want is silence.

2. No matter how hard I try to be happy with things, there will always be something that makes me wish for a little more.

3. I know nothing about life.

See also Sgt. Schultz

It's number 2 that really gets my goat. For the most part, I'm a happy person. I have a husband that I love and who loves me. I have a job that usually fills me with a sense of purpose. I have friends and family that care about me. I've written a book, been on TV, participated in the running of large organizations...and yet I found this morning as I cleaned my house in preparation of Christmas decorating that I am not a happy camper today, and I couldn't really discern a good reason why, because life is going pretty well right now.

Without getting to into too many details, I've made some decisions (with the husband) that I think are putting us on a better financial path, so that's a good thing. I've decided it's time to hand over some of the duties to my second-in-command at work that I've been doing since her predecessor left a couple months ago, which will lessen my work load.  I did dishes last night so my kitchen isn't a total disaster, something that is always nice. My blood sugar was low most of the morning...

This eureka! moment brought to you by the man who really invented electricity as we know it.

I'm not saying that my moods are completely controlled by my blood sugars, but if I'm in a bad mood for no reason a lot of times it is because my blood sugar is on the downward spiral. My husband can usually tell when this is the case. When I'm being particularly bitchy he tells me to go check my blood sugar before he takes cover and more often than not it's low or quickly approaching low levels, which I'd figure out myself if, you know, my blood sugar wasn't low.

I hate how a woman's emotional state is so often attributed to "that time of the month." Sometimes a woman just gets down on herself and needs someone to tell her she's got value, and it's got nothing to do with her reproductive system. And while I admit I am often more liable to strike out in anger in the days preceding the start of my monthly cycle, I am also more likely to bite your head off for something totally unreasonable if my blood sugar is in the 50's. Just knowing this ticks me off, because it's a thing that I don't have 100% control over, which means I don't have 100% control over myself. Think about that for a second....it's scary, isn't it?

November is...

November is National Diabetes Month.

I don't know how I feel about this, honestly. I mean, yay- we have a month in which we are probably going to get more air time and more coverage, but we're really not. I did some research for another blog I am doing this month (over at The YALSA Hub, and it's not up yet or I'd link to it), and I learned that there isn't a large number of teen books with diabetic characters in it. This wasn't a complete surprise to me, since there weren't many when I was a teenager. What was surprising to me was that since I was a teenager there haven't been any NEW ones. More people get diabetes now than ever before and the literary world seems to have dropped it like a bad habit. Millions of people have diabetes and there aren't diabetics in our literature? 250,000 people get leukemia a year and there are at least four books that have come out in the last two years for teens that have characters with leukemia in them. The numbers seem skewed, though I admit that my interest has been limited to the young adult novel and for all I know there's a series written by Danielle Steel all about a woman who is a diabetic...not that I'd know, because I don't read Danielle Steel.

But this got me thinking...November is also National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo for short). Maybe I should just write a young adult novel about a teen with diabetes myself. How hard can that be? I've been a diabetic for *mumble mumble* years now. I'm pretty sure if it came down to it, I'd be able to accurately write about how it is to live with it, as a teenager even. Hell, that's what I'm doing here isn't it?

Get it?

 

Alas, if only it were that easy. If I were just writing about diabetes it would be. If I were just writing about living with diabetes it would be, too. But writing a young adult novel that talks about diabetes, and is entertaining, has some plot, and doesn't sound preachy? Some of the worst YA lit I've read has come across as preachy. And some of the worst YA lit I've read has been about a disease. In fact, there's one author in particular that has built a career on writing about teens with cancer or some other fatal ailment, and got two books about diabetes in there, too....and all of it is schmaltzy, predictable....

It's not Nicholas Sparks, but this also applies to him, too, I guess.



 

Honestly even  if it were easy, I'm not that motivated to write it, either. Writing a book is hard, and writing a good book is improbable, and writing a good book for teens is a total shot in the dark (kind of like booking a trip on Expedia- sometimes you get a great deal, some times you don't.) The big thing in literary circles, especially ones dealing with those under 18, is that you need to be able to see yourself in the literature you read. Kids who live in the suburbs tend to lean toward books that take place there, just as kids who are of a certain culture/religion need to see kids of their culture/religion in the books they read. It's a reaffirming thing- "Hey, this person is just like me!" even though we're all supposed to be ourselves and not be like other people, which I sometimes take to the extreme.

For instance, I'd wear this...in public.

 





But the idea has planted itself into my head, and I can't seem to let go of it. In fact, I jotted down some notes and ideas the other day that I think could really work. Now I just need to find the time to sit down and do it, and then get a publisher, and hopefully write it well enough that I can squeeze a few sequels out of it....